Thursday, 25 December 2008
Merry Christmas
HO HO HO
Merry Christmas from all of us.
If you've kept up this far, for all these years, you should be really proud of yourselves!
(or see a doctor)
Have a fun filled, live for the moment kind of day, and eat as much turkish delight as you can manage (we know we will)
love from TJam, Chips, Beanz and Carlsberg
xxx
Labels: Beanz 2008, carlsberg 2008, chips 2008, christmas 2008, tjam 2008
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Cat's Christmas
- by Carlsberg
The humans had Christmas part 1. I helped Bamgee decorate the tree.
I put the tinsel in its place by boxing it playfully.
I found time to practise my indignant look.
GREEN tinsel?!?!
Whatever were they thinking?
I investigated the decorations and made sure they were up to scratch.
I got in the decorations box to make sure TJam hadn't missed anything and while I was there, I had a little bite on those long dangly decorations that TJam won't use any more because I try to eat them and she has to pull them out of my throat.
Then the humans had their Christmas dinner and I got some extra catnip drops for keeping out of the way.
This week I have been very helpful with the wrapping. I love to jump underneath all the paper. TJam loves it when I do that, especially when she is trying to get everything done before Christmas.
Beanz has not been helpful at all. She has been sleeping in front of the fire.
The humans had Christmas part 1. I helped Bamgee decorate the tree.
I put the tinsel in its place by boxing it playfully.
I found time to practise my indignant look.GREEN tinsel?!?!
Whatever were they thinking?
I investigated the decorations and made sure they were up to scratch.
I got in the decorations box to make sure TJam hadn't missed anything and while I was there, I had a little bite on those long dangly decorations that TJam won't use any more because I try to eat them and she has to pull them out of my throat.
Then the humans had their Christmas dinner and I got some extra catnip drops for keeping out of the way.
Merry Cat's Christmas to you all!
Labels: carlsberg 2008, christmas 2008
Monday, 1 December 2008
Busy Night
23:00h Settled down for the night on TJam's shoulder. She has been away for the weekend so I was glad to see her. Plus there was a frost and it was cold.
00:23h TJam disturbed me for a bathroom break. I moved onto the warm bit so she had to get back into the cold side of the bed.
03:57h I felt nocturnal and went out in the garden.
04:20h I brought my little mouse up into the bedroom to welcome TJam home properly.
04:23h I gave my best, "I've got a little present for you" call.
04:24h TJam clipped my claws the other day and because of this, I could not hold my prey securely and it ran under the bed. I ran after it.
04:25h Chased mouse from out of my playtime paper bag.
04:26h Mouse ran into the folded up plastic Christmas tree which is now out of storage and waiting to be put up. Distinct lack of help from TJam.
04:27-04:34h TJam started to come to and say something that sounded to me like, "Oh Carlsberg! You are so clever! You've brought me a lovely present! Thank you!" She came over to look more closely at my gift. I patted it so she could have a go at catching it herself.
04:35h TJam went for the humane mouse trap. I went into the other bedroom.
04:37h Mouse ran into trap (no bait needed, it was glad to run into a dark space).
04:38h Mouse deposited into garden.
04:39h Garden too frosted up to use for toiletting purposes.
04:40h TJam returned to bed.
04:44h Still experiencing thrill of the chase, so stalked around bedroom jumping on paper bags and all my toys.
04:57h Went on pre-going-to-sleep patrol of the house.
05:13h Settled back down on the bed again. Purred contentedly.
05:23h TJam's adrenalin levels returned to normal and she settled back to sleep.
05:24h House quiet again.
00:23h TJam disturbed me for a bathroom break. I moved onto the warm bit so she had to get back into the cold side of the bed.
03:57h I felt nocturnal and went out in the garden.
04:20h I brought my little mouse up into the bedroom to welcome TJam home properly.
04:23h I gave my best, "I've got a little present for you" call.
04:24h TJam clipped my claws the other day and because of this, I could not hold my prey securely and it ran under the bed. I ran after it.
04:25h Chased mouse from out of my playtime paper bag.
04:26h Mouse ran into the folded up plastic Christmas tree which is now out of storage and waiting to be put up. Distinct lack of help from TJam.
04:27-04:34h TJam started to come to and say something that sounded to me like, "Oh Carlsberg! You are so clever! You've brought me a lovely present! Thank you!" She came over to look more closely at my gift. I patted it so she could have a go at catching it herself.
04:35h TJam went for the humane mouse trap. I went into the other bedroom.
04:37h Mouse ran into trap (no bait needed, it was glad to run into a dark space).
04:38h Mouse deposited into garden.
04:39h Garden too frosted up to use for toiletting purposes.
04:40h TJam returned to bed.
04:44h Still experiencing thrill of the chase, so stalked around bedroom jumping on paper bags and all my toys.
04:57h Went on pre-going-to-sleep patrol of the house.
05:13h Settled back down on the bed again. Purred contentedly.
05:23h TJam's adrenalin levels returned to normal and she settled back to sleep.
05:24h House quiet again.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, mouse 2008
Thursday, 27 November 2008
1st Rule of the Playground
- by Carlsberg
Rule 1: If you've licked it, it's yours.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, eaten 2008, toast 2008
Friday, 14 November 2008
Just Like Old Times
- by TJam
This evening I was sitting innocently by the computer, when I heard that past and distant "mraaawl" that Carlsberg used to do when she brought a mouse into the house.
Of course it is nearly a year since Carlsberg wasincarcerated provided with a spacious yet secure environment, and therefore nearly a year since the last mouse incident. Surely there are no mice in our garden. They wouldn't dare.
So I didn't hurry to the front door. When I got there I wished I'd gone a bit slower. Force of habit, I took my camera with me... (you might need to click on the photo to enlarge it for full view)...
Mr Mouse ran behind my shoes! Horror. I dug out the old mouse trap from under the sink and Mr M is now back in the garden. Whether that is with a body temperature of 37C or with rigamortis set in by now I couldn't rightly say, but Carlsberg seems to have lost her touch and couldn't put it out of its misery. Let's hope she doesn't decide to practise any more this evening.
This evening I was sitting innocently by the computer, when I heard that past and distant "mraaawl" that Carlsberg used to do when she brought a mouse into the house.
Of course it is nearly a year since Carlsberg was
So I didn't hurry to the front door. When I got there I wished I'd gone a bit slower. Force of habit, I took my camera with me... (you might need to click on the photo to enlarge it for full view)...
Mr Mouse ran behind my shoes! Horror. I dug out the old mouse trap from under the sink and Mr M is now back in the garden. Whether that is with a body temperature of 37C or with rigamortis set in by now I couldn't rightly say, but Carlsberg seems to have lost her touch and couldn't put it out of its misery. Let's hope she doesn't decide to practise any more this evening.Labels: carlsberg 2008, mouse 2008
Monday, 13 October 2008
Job Done
- by Carlsberg
Today I jumped on the keyboard and stood for a long time on the delete button so the whole of TJam's inbox was wiped out.
Then I pretended I didn't know what was going on and acted indignant when TJam pushed me off the keys.
That should keep her busy for a while.
Today I jumped on the keyboard and stood for a long time on the delete button so the whole of TJam's inbox was wiped out.
Then I pretended I didn't know what was going on and acted indignant when TJam pushed me off the keys.
That should keep her busy for a while.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, mishaps 2008
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Not As It Seems
- by Carlsberg
but in fact...
TJam has built me the tiniest litter tray of grass for me to eat and use as I see fit.
You might think from this picture that I am lounging around (note the SUN, that is a bright yellow ball in the sky that we see twice a year) on a beautifully cultivated lawn...
but in fact...
TJam has built me the tiniest litter tray of grass for me to eat and use as I see fit.I suppose it's better than nothing although it wouldn't do for me to grow any more.
PS It was my gotcha day on Monday and there was a distinct lack of celebrating. I am 6.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, gotcha day 2008, grass 2008
Thursday, 17 July 2008
My Impression of...
- by Carlsberg.
Can you guess who it is yet?
Yes, Bob Carolgees and Spit the dog.
KWWWWIIIIIPPPPP TTTTAAAHHH
Labels: carlsberg 2008, impressions 2008
Monday, 14 July 2008
Respect - Trainers - Earth
Dear Carlsberg
Whilst searching for the source of a cat-wee smell (which turned out to be my trainers) I found some feline cat paw shaped marks in Steven Patrick's earth and some distinct "covering up of wee" mounds. As you know, Steven Patrick is a 19 year old Cheese Plant and winner of Zoe Ball's Breakfast Show Honours List "Listener of the Year" award 1999. I think that using his pot as a litter tray is a bit disrespectful, even if it doesn't smell.
Please could you use the £4.49/10 litre ethically sourced wood pellets in your tray, or better still... GO OUTSIDE. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE CATFLAP AND CATPROOF GARDEN IS FOR?!!? I used up a Christmas and birthday present for the catproofing, so I don't think a bit of appreciation is too much to ask for. Do you?
Love from TJam.
PS I am sorry I blamed you for the trainers. I didn't know trainers could smell like cat wee.
Unless....
You haven't.
Have you?
Whilst searching for the source of a cat-wee smell (which turned out to be my trainers) I found some feline cat paw shaped marks in Steven Patrick's earth and some distinct "covering up of wee" mounds. As you know, Steven Patrick is a 19 year old Cheese Plant and winner of Zoe Ball's Breakfast Show Honours List "Listener of the Year" award 1999. I think that using his pot as a litter tray is a bit disrespectful, even if it doesn't smell.
Please could you use the £4.49/10 litre ethically sourced wood pellets in your tray, or better still... GO OUTSIDE. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE CATFLAP AND CATPROOF GARDEN IS FOR?!!? I used up a Christmas and birthday present for the catproofing, so I don't think a bit of appreciation is too much to ask for. Do you?
Love from TJam.
PS I am sorry I blamed you for the trainers. I didn't know trainers could smell like cat wee.
Unless....
You haven't.
Have you?
Labels: carlsberg 2008, steven patrick 2008, trainers 2008
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!
- by Carlsberg
It's all been going on around here. As you know, I have been incarcerated in the house for the last 7 months. For my own safety apparently.
So, TJam's dad came up and put some spectacular netting around our fence to keep me in and my mortal enemies out. It took him 2 weeks!
And here we have it, my first minute of freedom:
When TJam home from work, she found me basking in the waste honeysuckle, waiting to go in the green bin.
And finally a short film to express my joy:
When TJam home from work, she found me basking in the waste honeysuckle, waiting to go in the green bin.
And finally a short film to express my joy:
Labels: carlsberg 2008, cat-proof fencing 2008
Monday, 19 May 2008
You've Not Been Framed
- by Carlsberg
Thank goodness. We have been rejected. TJam may think it is ok to send a clip in of my climbing up the back of the settee and the cushion coming away and me falling down backwards, but I do not. You've Been Framed had the common decency to spare my dignity and reject the clip.
Mind you, come to think of it, it is quite a dent to the ego when you're not even good enough for You've Been Framed.
I don't know whether to be pleased or gutted.
Thank goodness. We have been rejected. TJam may think it is ok to send a clip in of my climbing up the back of the settee and the cushion coming away and me falling down backwards, but I do not. You've Been Framed had the common decency to spare my dignity and reject the clip.
Mind you, come to think of it, it is quite a dent to the ego when you're not even good enough for You've Been Framed.
I don't know whether to be pleased or gutted.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, you've been framed 2008
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Things that Make Me Nervous
-by Carlsberg
I get nervous when TJam puts her hands on my belly in a measuring kind of way and says,
I get nervous when TJam puts her hands on my belly in a measuring kind of way and says, "You'd make a lovely pair of gloves."
"Or maybe a muff."
Labels: carlsberg 2008, nervours 2008, sick and not funny humour 2008
Saturday, 10 May 2008
Elephants in fridges
- by TJam
How do you know there's been an elephant in your fridge?
Or more to the point, how do you know there has been a cat on your kitchen worktop?
Forget footprints in the butter and think little little cat-shaped tongue marks.
I've gone right off my marmite on toast.
(For the Americans amongst you, Marmite is a delicious brown spead for toast and bread. You should really try it. You either love it or you hate it!)
How do you know there's been an elephant in your fridge?
Or more to the point, how do you know there has been a cat on your kitchen worktop?
Forget footprints in the butter and think little little cat-shaped tongue marks.
I've gone right off my marmite on toast.
(For the Americans amongst you, Marmite is a delicious brown spead for toast and bread. You should really try it. You either love it or you hate it!)
Labels: carlsberg 2008, eaten 2008
Friday, 9 May 2008
Knitting
- by Carlsberg
At the weekend, Bamgee and her sister came to visit. (Her spy name is Bready until she thinks of a better one.) Bready is a vociferous knitter. I have never known such a thrill. That wool! That gentle wiggle of the yarn. I was well in there. I moved so fast I was just a blur. It's my speed wobble.
When TJam used to knit, it was never this exciting. Perhaps it is the European Way that does it for me. Did you know knitting is bilingual? Apparently so.
PS Bready is knitting squares for Oxfam in this picture. If you want to knit for Oxfam, go and have a look at their website. I haven't linked to it. I'm a cat. I don't care for these things.
At the weekend, Bamgee and her sister came to visit. (Her spy name is Bready until she thinks of a better one.) Bready is a vociferous knitter. I have never known such a thrill. That wool! That gentle wiggle of the yarn. I was well in there. I moved so fast I was just a blur. It's my speed wobble.When TJam used to knit, it was never this exciting. Perhaps it is the European Way that does it for me. Did you know knitting is bilingual? Apparently so.
PS Bready is knitting squares for Oxfam in this picture. If you want to knit for Oxfam, go and have a look at their website. I haven't linked to it. I'm a cat. I don't care for these things.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, hobbies 2008
Saturday, 26 April 2008
Pathetic
- by Carlsberg
The amount of blogging going on is pathetic. This is because TJam has lost the things for getting photos from her phone onto the computer. She has a memory stick and a wire but she can't find either.
Bravo.
The amount of blogging going on is pathetic. This is because TJam has lost the things for getting photos from her phone onto the computer. She has a memory stick and a wire but she can't find either.
Bravo.
Labels: carlsberg 2008
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
Letting the Cat into the Bag
Dear Bamgee
Thank you very much for my present. I love my new bag very much indeed.
Love from
Carlsberg
x
Thank you very much for my present. I love my new bag very much indeed.
Love from
Carlsberg
x
Labels: carlsberg 2008, Spot the cat 2008
Monday, 24 March 2008
Columbo Marathon
- by Carlsberg
The dogs had a lovely time playing and running and splashing and being doggie. Not my kind of thing so I stayed home and made sure the central heating stayed on.
I have missed everyone though, so I took every opportunity to sit on TJ's knees. I stepped on Chips once but she snapped teeth which I think means she doesn't like me to sit on her.
Today was Columbo marathon. A whole day of Columbos. Does it get any better? Sitting on your human (with body warmer) surrounded by dogs, fire on and Columbo as far as the eye can see. Heaven.
Purr.
Today the dogs and human went to the local reservoir. TJ even managed to get a half decent picture of Beanz not looking dopey.
The dogs had a lovely time playing and running and splashing and being doggie. Not my kind of thing so I stayed home and made sure the central heating stayed on.
I have missed everyone though, so I took every opportunity to sit on TJ's knees. I stepped on Chips once but she snapped teeth which I think means she doesn't like me to sit on her.Today was Columbo marathon. A whole day of Columbos. Does it get any better? Sitting on your human (with body warmer) surrounded by dogs, fire on and Columbo as far as the eye can see. Heaven.
Purr.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, columbo 2008, dogwalking 2008
Friday, 29 February 2008
Cat Tree Progress
- by Carlsberg
There were some Chips' hairs on the top level so TJam left the video camera on while she was out, but it was a false alarm and there was no dog climbing of the cat tree. Disappointing I know.
I have made a breakthrough and gone in the tunnel for the first time. I am a sucker for a piece of tissue paper.
I am now the queen of the castle. I was never scared of the cat tree, it's just that I decide when I'm ready to go up it, and noone else. Now I'm ready. Plus TJam has been putting my meals up on the top so I didn't really have a choice.
I admit it is quite fun and I can scratch my claws all the way up the ceiling.
There were some Chips' hairs on the top level so TJam left the video camera on while she was out, but it was a false alarm and there was no dog climbing of the cat tree. Disappointing I know.
I have made a breakthrough and gone in the tunnel for the first time. I am a sucker for a piece of tissue paper.Labels: carlsberg 2008, cat tree 2008
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Delivery for Carlsberg
- by Carlsberg
The instructions did not say that the structure should be assembled in its eventual dwelling place, because once built, it is too big to move ever again. We will never use the washing machine again as there is no longer space to open the door. TJam wanted the biggest one she could find but they all look a LOT smaller on the internet. Ladies and gentleman, I give you....
The reason there is not a picture of me on it is because it is big and new. Just look at it from my point of view. It goes right up to the ceiling. Plus it is clean. But most importantly of all, TJam wants me to go on it.
Personally I prefer the box it came in.
Last week, a parcel arrived at The Tip. TJam was very excited about it. She opened it up and it was something to put together. She thought I needed something to entertain me now I cannot roam the fields and dodge cars, foxes, dogs and next door's cat.
I jumped on the instructions and tore them. Don't want TJam having things too easy now, do we.
Can you guess what it is yet?
The instructions did not say that the structure should be assembled in its eventual dwelling place, because once built, it is too big to move ever again. We will never use the washing machine again as there is no longer space to open the door. TJam wanted the biggest one she could find but they all look a LOT smaller on the internet. Ladies and gentleman, I give you....-
-
-
-
-
CAT TREE!
The reason there is not a picture of me on it is because it is big and new. Just look at it from my point of view. It goes right up to the ceiling. Plus it is clean. But most importantly of all, TJam wants me to go on it.
Personally I prefer the box it came in.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, cat tree 2008
Friday, 15 February 2008
Getting Cheeky
- by Carlsberg
Next door's cat is getting cheeky. She is walking on my fence. I have been growling at her but she torments me. I am the cat up on the shed. The one with the good looking behind. My nemesis is the blobby one on the fence. Pah. Her legs are even shorter than mine.
Excuse the dirty window that really shows up. TJam didn't have time to clean it before she took the photo. Or bring the 2 socks in off the washing line.
Next door's cat is getting cheeky. She is walking on my fence. I have been growling at her but she torments me. I am the cat up on the shed. The one with the good looking behind. My nemesis is the blobby one on the fence. Pah. Her legs are even shorter than mine.Excuse the dirty window that really shows up. TJam didn't have time to clean it before she took the photo. Or bring the 2 socks in off the washing line.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, nemesis 2008
Thursday, 14 February 2008
The Turning of Tables
- by Carlsberg
In the old days, I used to love getting on next door's roof and teasing my nemesis. She was not allowed out much and sat in the window, boxing the glass to get at me.
I laughed in a silent, cat kind of way.
Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
How the tables have turned since my confinement. I spent a good 15 minutes perched on my shed in eye to eye combat today.
In the old days, I used to love getting on next door's roof and teasing my nemesis. She was not allowed out much and sat in the window, boxing the glass to get at me.
I laughed in a silent, cat kind of way.
Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
How the tables have turned since my confinement. I spent a good 15 minutes perched on my shed in eye to eye combat today.
Labels: carlsberg 2008
Friday, 1 February 2008
Doggy Maths
- by Professor Carlsberg
Although the photography is not very good (blame my staff), here is a good doggy illustration of the mathmatical concept of inverse proportionality. The size of the bottles collected on this walk are inversely proportional to the size of the dog that collected it (but proportional to their position within the hierarchy). Meouw. Now open my pouch of duck in gravy.
Although the photography is not very good (blame my staff), here is a good doggy illustration of the mathmatical concept of inverse proportionality. The size of the bottles collected on this walk are inversely proportional to the size of the dog that collected it (but proportional to their position within the hierarchy). Meouw. Now open my pouch of duck in gravy.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, maths 2008
Monday, 21 January 2008
Little Venture
- by Carlsberg
I have had a few little jaunts out the back and had a good scratch of the shed thing. Then I had a little sit on the chair. Then I came in. It's cold out there.
I have had a few little jaunts out the back and had a good scratch of the shed thing. Then I had a little sit on the chair. Then I came in. It's cold out there.Labels: carlsberg 2008, cat-proof fencing 2008
Thursday, 17 January 2008
This is the Life
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Meanwhile...
- by Carlsberg
The enclosure is up and done! but I haven't got a photo yet. I nipped out briefly a couple of times but it is FREEZING out there, especially since my fur hasn't fully grown back since my surgery. Plus I haven't been out for 6 weeks (apart from my brief break for freedom on Tuesday when I made it half way down the garden before getting overwhelmed and allowing myself to be caught and brought back in) so it's all a bit much for me.
In the meantime, while I was building up my strength, I noticed TJam had left the lid off the dog food. I had a taste, and then a bit more of a taste. It is actually very nice. And there's just so much of it!
Labels: carlsberg 2008, cat-proof fencing 2008, eaten 2008
Friday, 11 January 2008
Spot the Cat IV
- by Carlsberg
(TJam has asked me to add that the house is now looking a lot tidier now that she has finished tidying it with an hour in hand until her parents arrive...)
I have to thank the great Father Christmas for this great present...
...that has made my fourth "Spot the Cat" feature possible:
(TJam has asked me to add that the house is now looking a lot tidier now that she has finished tidying it with an hour in hand until her parents arrive...)Labels: carlsberg 2008, Spot the cat 2008
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Spot the Cat III
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Spot the Cat II
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Spot the Cat I
- by Carlsberg
In the (fading) spirit of Christmas, I would like to re-launch my "Spot the Cat" feature. Here is my 12th night offering. See if you can spot me.
In the (fading) spirit of Christmas, I would like to re-launch my "Spot the Cat" feature. Here is my 12th night offering. See if you can spot me.
Labels: carlsberg 2008, Spot the cat 2008
