Monday, 21 December 2009
Don't Believe Your Eyes
- by Chips
Although it may look like it, that is NOT the cat's bowl under my bottom. It is... um... it's a... um... yellow.... um... not cat bowl, which I did not steal from the desk and take to my bed to clean.
Although it may look like it, that is NOT the cat's bowl under my bottom. It is... um... it's a... um... yellow.... um... not cat bowl, which I did not steal from the desk and take to my bed to clean.
Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Baby Chilled
We were recently invited to a very special occasion. It was Baby Chilled (that's his spy name) welcome and naming ceremony. We drove miles to the middle of nowhere.
We were welcomed by Baby Chilled and his mummy and uncle.
Tjam said she would put up the tent. Chips thought she was being helpful, lying on the tent. TJam didn't think that helped very much at all.
Eventually, she got it sorted and I loved the view: sheep! everywhere! I liked to bark at the sheep every now and again when no one was expecting it. It made them jump.
Of course, our tent did not look as cool as our neighbours'. They are professionals and their tent had a proper bed, magic carpet and heater. In fact, I would have gone in there, but for the fact I was tethered to our van.
Anyway, we had the welcome ceremony. The humans said it was beautiful. I was a bit nervous of the popping champagne, but I held it together. Just. That is one lucky baby, I can tell you.
Then, everyone chilled. TJam took us up onto the moors. It was so fab.
In the evening, we had a barbeque. TJam was so proud of us.
Well, she was until I stole a cumberland sausage off an unattended plate. By that time though, she had chilled out herself so I did not get told off too much.
At night, the humans made wishes for the baby and then sent lanterns up into the sky. This is Mummy and Daddy Chilled's lantern, with their wishes for Baby Chilled.
The next day, TJam got up early and we climbed right to the top of the hill. TJam fell into a bog up to her knees. Her life flashed before her eyes but she managed to get out and with both wellies to boot. She had to spend the rest of the morning in her pyjama bottoms though.
Here is the view from the top of the hill. It was a bit cloudy so you can't see much, but the house we were staying at is down there somewhere. It might be that whitish thing that my left ear is pointing at.
Then we came down for breakfast. A little girl fell over in a puddle but she was very laid back about it. She is a professional festival goer I expect.
Sadly, we had to come home. When TJam unpacked, what a lovely surprise! Kathryn (that is not her spy name but we don't know her quirks well enough yet to give her one) had packed us a spare cumberland sausage since we apparently love them so much. No need to steal this one. It was freely given.
Thank you Mummy, Daddy and Baby Chilled for a great weekend!
We were welcomed by Baby Chilled and his mummy and uncle.
Tjam said she would put up the tent. Chips thought she was being helpful, lying on the tent. TJam didn't think that helped very much at all.
Eventually, she got it sorted and I loved the view: sheep! everywhere! I liked to bark at the sheep every now and again when no one was expecting it. It made them jump.
Of course, our tent did not look as cool as our neighbours'. They are professionals and their tent had a proper bed, magic carpet and heater. In fact, I would have gone in there, but for the fact I was tethered to our van.
Anyway, we had the welcome ceremony. The humans said it was beautiful. I was a bit nervous of the popping champagne, but I held it together. Just. That is one lucky baby, I can tell you.
Then, everyone chilled. TJam took us up onto the moors. It was so fab.
In the evening, we had a barbeque. TJam was so proud of us.Well, she was until I stole a cumberland sausage off an unattended plate. By that time though, she had chilled out herself so I did not get told off too much.
At night, the humans made wishes for the baby and then sent lanterns up into the sky. This is Mummy and Daddy Chilled's lantern, with their wishes for Baby Chilled.
The next day, TJam got up early and we climbed right to the top of the hill. TJam fell into a bog up to her knees. Her life flashed before her eyes but she managed to get out and with both wellies to boot. She had to spend the rest of the morning in her pyjama bottoms though.
Here is the view from the top of the hill. It was a bit cloudy so you can't see much, but the house we were staying at is down there somewhere. It might be that whitish thing that my left ear is pointing at.
Then we came down for breakfast. A little girl fell over in a puddle but she was very laid back about it. She is a professional festival goer I expect.
Sadly, we had to come home. When TJam unpacked, what a lovely surprise! Kathryn (that is not her spy name but we don't know her quirks well enough yet to give her one) had packed us a spare cumberland sausage since we apparently love them so much. No need to steal this one. It was freely given.
Thank you Mummy, Daddy and Baby Chilled for a great weekend!
Labels: baby chilled, bbq, beanz, camping, chips 2009, eaten 2009, tent
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Accusations
TJam has just come home and found a couple of feathers. And the first thing she said was, "Oh no Carlsberg!" What kind of stereotyping is that? Why does she think that I would know how those feathers got there?
*burp*
Labels: carlsberg 2009, eaten 2009
Monday, 27 July 2009
Reinstated
Homemade 70s style trifle ............................................£5
Carboard box for transporting trifle to
nan's 90th birthday party............................................. £ free from supermarket
Lifting cover, licking trifle and
regaining Champion's title for eating things................ priceless
(PS don't tell the guests. I was caught in time, My lick was removed and angel delight smoothed over, bowl wiped etc etc)
Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Competition
- by ChipsIt seems my campaign for the Eating Things Champion title is not as clear cut as I first thought. Cousin Xaja is pictured here in his bid entitled "I ate the mouldy pitta bread for the birds off the lawn because mummy didn't hurry up with my porridge."
I'm going to have to put my thinking cap on to top that...
Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009, xaja
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Home Alone 2
Trust Beanz to publish a really boring video of me doing a little bit of counter-surfing.
I am much prouder of my achievement in this film. More ingenuity and dare devilling. I did not use a stunt double. It made my carrot all the more delicious.
Yum yum
I am much prouder of my achievement in this film. More ingenuity and dare devilling. I did not use a stunt double. It made my carrot all the more delicious.
Yum yum
Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009
Home Alone 1
I don't want to be a tell tale, but you know, when TJam goes out, Chips does not lay quietly on her bed. I want you all to know what I have to put up with.
Love from Beanz the Long Suffering
Love from Beanz the Long Suffering
Labels: beanz, eaten 2009, video
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Lunch Time Capers
-by Carlsberg the Hungry
When TJam called home for lunch today, she was rightly suspicious of this tail wagging dog that did not venture out of her box to run to the lunch bucket. It could only mean one thing...
Yes, that in the kitchen, there awaited a chilling (but not that uncommon) sight, of a half eaten bag of animal food on the floor. Problem is, it was MY FOOD!
Beanz had been loyal to her feline friend, and judging by the size of her belly, had not eaten much, if any. Chips's belly region and general posture of malaise told a different story of her part in the caper...
Not one to bear a grudge, I calmed myself from the thought of dogs stealing and eating MY FOOD with a little yoga posture I invented myself. I call it reclined triangle with dog and cat. It promotes harmony. And good digestion.
Labels: carlsberg 2009, chips 2009, eaten 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Getting Professional
It's been a good couple of days for a professional bin raider. First TJam washed a punnet of cherry tomotoes and forgot to take them off the draining board before she went to work. When she came home, all she saw was this:
One little devil had rolled away from me and I'd missed it behind our water bowl. She put it in the compost heap. Sour grapes I say. She just wailed, "It'll never be clean again!" What a wimp. It was a vain quest for cleanliness that got her into this mess in the first place.
That was the day before yesterday. Did you know, tomatoes make you wee. In the house. You just can't help it. (I haven't googled tomatoes, kidneys or poison because we just don't want to know).Then today, TJam came home from work, all pleased with herself that I had just taken an empty frozen pea wrapper that was in the "pre-bin" area. She gloated that there was nothing in it.
Then she gave me my tea.
Then she found a couple of mystery crumbs.
It was too late, she had already given me my tea.
I was full of tea, plus 7 moulding garlic and corriander wraps.
Here is my Chips-eye view of my handywork. See? I reached that bag all the way up there!
And here is a closeup for all appreciators of fine artistic interpretation.
It's gonna be a good weekend...Labels: binraiding, chips 2009, eaten 2009
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Slacking?
What's that you say? Not enough bin-raiding recently? I hope this semolina makes you as proud of me as I am.
Labels: binraiding, chips 2009, eaten 2009
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Did I or Didn't I?
Before I ask the question, "Did I or didn't I?" I want to tell you about this cool bed I found. TJam got some liners for some hanging baskets (don't hold your breath, she always gets as far as liners and even plants, but falls down when it comes to putting the two together).
I said, "This space is TAKEN. Move along please. There are no hanging baskets to make here."
TJam has been busy making Easter nests for Bamgee, Bready and Unliz. You have to imagine that the Easter hen laid flat eggs in her nest. Tjam didn't get to the shop in time to get small vegan eggs. I'm sure no one will notice.
TJam saved herself a nest to have with her cup of tea before she sets off. When she came into the kitchen, this is what she saw:
I quickly headed in the direction of the door and TJam didn't actually see me touch the cake, I just had my head near it.
There was dribble on the chocolate button, which was lying next to the nest, but since the nest is shiny anyway, TJam doesn't know if I licked the nest or not. Now she has to decide whether to take the chance and eat it anyway, or whether to play it safe and throw it away.
What would you do?
It would seem that 12" is just the right diameter for a cosy cat bed.
I said, "This space is TAKEN. Move along please. There are no hanging baskets to make here."
TJam has been busy making Easter nests for Bamgee, Bready and Unliz. You have to imagine that the Easter hen laid flat eggs in her nest. Tjam didn't get to the shop in time to get small vegan eggs. I'm sure no one will notice.
TJam saved herself a nest to have with her cup of tea before she sets off. When she came into the kitchen, this is what she saw:
I quickly headed in the direction of the door and TJam didn't actually see me touch the cake, I just had my head near it.There was dribble on the chocolate button, which was lying next to the nest, but since the nest is shiny anyway, TJam doesn't know if I licked the nest or not. Now she has to decide whether to take the chance and eat it anyway, or whether to play it safe and throw it away.
What would you do?
Labels: carlsberg 2009, easter nests, eaten 2009
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Do Not Bother
- by Chips
Do not bother stealing a block of frozen spinach that has fallen on the floor.
It is a big disappointment.
Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009, spinach
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Pass the Mouthwash
This is the mouth
Attached to the dog
That nimbly hopped onto the worktop
(like a mountain goat)
And sniffed out the bowl
That contained 6 cloves of crushed garlic in olive oil
That is now empty
This is the mouth
Attached to the dog
That will not be attacked by vampire
For a long long time.
Attached to the dog
That nimbly hopped onto the worktop
(like a mountain goat)
And sniffed out the bowl
That contained 6 cloves of crushed garlic in olive oil
That is now empty
This is the mouth
Attached to the dog
That will not be attacked by vampire
For a long long time.
Can you smell it from there?!I dare you to come close to the screen!
This is the mouth
That is sporting a rather impressive set of whiskers
(Now I come to look more closely)
Even if I do say so myself.
This is the mouth
That is sporting a rather impressive set of whiskers
(Now I come to look more closely)
Even if I do say so myself.
Labels: eaten 2009, garlic
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Absent Mindedness
- by Chips
Thank goodness for human absent mindedness and distractability and for a dog's innate ability to seize the moment.
I'm not sure at which point between making a cheese toasty and walking to the fridge to put the marg and cheese away, TJam got distracted. Then she went out. If you look in my bed, you will see some very clean evidence.
Yum.
Thank goodness for human absent mindedness and distractability and for a dog's innate ability to seize the moment.
I'm not sure at which point between making a cheese toasty and walking to the fridge to put the marg and cheese away, TJam got distracted. Then she went out. If you look in my bed, you will see some very clean evidence.
Yum.Labels: chips 2009, eaten 2009, marg
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Cat Tree
- by Carlsberg
My food, my tree. Paws OFF. Do NOT try it again.
What happens when a dog waits until the humans go out and then tries to climb up a cat tree to eat a cat's breakfast?
My food, my tree. Paws OFF. Do NOT try it again.(and put my crinkly paper back in the box where it came from)
(and wash my bowl once you've licked it with your smooth doggy tongue)
Labels: carlsberg 2009, cat tree 2009, eaten 2009
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Weetabix
- by Beanz
We do recommned that plenty of fresh drinking water is available.
Other whole weat cereals are available. We don't have any complaints about this type though. TJam left it out on the counter while she went to work and we ate the whole lot. The floor has been lovely and crunchy and we can revisit the crime scene. There should be no problem with our bowels for a couple of days.
We do recommned that plenty of fresh drinking water is available.Plenty.
Labels: eaten 2009, weetabix 2009
