Welcome to jumpthedog.com! Come on in and look around...Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Under the Radar
- by Chips
What with all this hoo har with the cat (who is bright and walking around and expected home by the end of the week), I think my little "going through the compost bag to pick out any apple or carrot related goodies" has slipped under the radar. Yipee.
What with all this hoo har with the cat (who is bright and walking around and expected home by the end of the week), I think my little "going through the compost bag to pick out any apple or carrot related goodies" has slipped under the radar. Yipee.Labels: abscess, carlsberg, chips, eaten, mishaps, not hit by a car
Friday, 9 November 2007
Not Recommended
- by Tamsin
It is not recommended to drop ripe avocado and salad dressing on the floor and think to yourself, "The dog will come and clear that up," then leave it, then go back to the kitchen, forget you dropped it, step in it and continue on your merry way.
It is not recommended to drop ripe avocado and salad dressing on the floor and think to yourself, "The dog will come and clear that up," then leave it, then go back to the kitchen, forget you dropped it, step in it and continue on your merry way.
Labels: mishaps, not recommended
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
In Disgrace
- by Chips
There are a couple of behaviours Tamsin will not tolerate. Jumping up is one of them. Unfortunately, we meet a few too many people who joyfully call out, "It's ok! I don't mind!" and then give us a biscuit, thus support our view point that jumping up is very lucrative indeed.
I digress.
Last night, Tamsin and her friend Lynn, were going out for dinner. Lynn called round before they went out so they could travel together. Lynn was wearing a coat not dissimilar to this one:
There are a couple of behaviours Tamsin will not tolerate. Jumping up is one of them. Unfortunately, we meet a few too many people who joyfully call out, "It's ok! I don't mind!" and then give us a biscuit, thus support our view point that jumping up is very lucrative indeed.
I digress.
Last night, Tamsin and her friend Lynn, were going out for dinner. Lynn called round before they went out so they could travel together. Lynn was wearing a coat not dissimilar to this one:
She had had to wear this coat because she didn't have another to match her cream trousers and cream blouse.
Can you see where this is going yet?
So, having been suitably walked so we would relax for the evening, Beanz and I greeted Lynn in a doggy way. I went for the hip height area and as Lynn bent over to protect herself greet us because we are so great, and Beanz went for the full "put front paws on arm in order to gain height for full face dog snog".
The following is an artist's impression of the coat post-greeting.
Lynn didn't have another cream coat to match her cream trousers and cream blouse, so she had to go home and change her whole outfit.
She should wear dark brown.
I hope our clicker teacher doesn't read this.
I think it is a waste to spend my pocket money on dry cleaning.
Labels: chips, cream coat + muddy paws, mishaps
Friday, 31 August 2007
Two Reasons to be Happy 2007
- by Tamsin
1. When my trolley (and 2 packs of laminate flooring) rolled away of its own accord in the DIY shop's car park, it did not get very far before I noticed and it did not hit the oncoming car.
2. Someone invented the "hold down" button and automatic cut-off device on the electric saw. So, when I fell off the workbench whilst operating said electric saw, I didn't cut my own hand or leg off. I just swore and bent the blade, so I think I got off very lightly.
1. When my trolley (and 2 packs of laminate flooring) rolled away of its own accord in the DIY shop's car park, it did not get very far before I noticed and it did not hit the oncoming car.
2. Someone invented the "hold down" button and automatic cut-off device on the electric saw. So, when I fell off the workbench whilst operating said electric saw, I didn't cut my own hand or leg off. I just swore and bent the blade, so I think I got off very lightly.
Sunday, 15 April 2007
A New Experience
Today I found myself in a novel situation. I was in a scrap thata) I did not instigate
b) I did not win
In fact, I would say I was set upon. Tamsin would say I need to learn that if a dog sets upon Beanz (who runs away) and then pulls its lip at me, I should back off and not even look at at.
It is a shame because I have been doing so well. Yesterday I sniffed 2 puppies on the lead and I did not even try to tell them off. I hope this incident does not affect my newfound mellowness. The humans like me a lot more when I can be trusted in a pub garden while they have a lager shandy.
Thursday, 5 April 2007
Not Death by Chocolate today thank you
Today, I had to take the van to be fixed and it had to stay in.
Meanwhile, I received a lovely Easter present through the post. Two bars of yummy dark chocolate.
When I arrived home, all that was left was the wrappers. Happy Easter Tamsin.
Even more happy Easter because chocolate is poisonous to dogs. We are not talking grape poisonous. There is no "maybe" in chocolate poisoning. Chips was looking a little uncomfortable (as I would have been if only I had had the chance to eat both my bars of chocolate at the same time). Beanz was fine, leaving me to believe that Chips had not shared nicely.
I phone the vet. The toxic dose for a dog Chips's size is 15g of dark chocolate. Chances were she'd had 20 times that. Time to go for some medicine.
No car, so thank you to Dorothy for coming to pick us up and take us there.
To the unitiated, this is what it looks like dry. "Try mixing it with the
ir food" said the vet. YUM. Looks tasty.
Meanwhile, it was plan B for Chips. By this point I had stopped bothering cleaning things up, so I will tackle the black stuff tomorrow. Since 4 hours worth wouldn't stay down, it was little and often. It has to keep going in until it comes out the other end.
All praise to the vet, who even offered to come and pick us up and take us to the animal hospital in the night if we couldn't get a lift. That is beyond the call of duty and something you don't hear about these days.
By 10pm, Chips was looking a lot more perky. I don't think we'll be needing the valium tablets. Well, I don't think Chips will be needing them. I will be sleeping downstairs to keep an eye on the patient.
Meanwhile, I received a lovely Easter present through the post. Two bars of yummy dark chocolate.
When I arrived home, all that was left was the wrappers. Happy Easter Tamsin.Even more happy Easter because chocolate is poisonous to dogs. We are not talking grape poisonous. There is no "maybe" in chocolate poisoning. Chips was looking a little uncomfortable (as I would have been if only I had had the chance to eat both my bars of chocolate at the same time). Beanz was fine, leaving me to believe that Chips had not shared nicely.
I phone the vet. The toxic dose for a dog Chips's size is 15g of dark chocolate. Chances were she'd had 20 times that. Time to go for some medicine.
No car, so thank you to Dorothy for coming to pick us up and take us there.
A dose of medication and the ongoing treatment? Activated charcoal.
To the unitiated, this is what it looks like dry. "Try mixing it with their food" said the vet. YUM. Looks tasty. 
Beanz ate her own and then Chips's. I hope you can't overdose on charcoal.
Meanwhile, it was plan B for Chips. By this point I had stopped bothering cleaning things up, so I will tackle the black stuff tomorrow. Since 4 hours worth wouldn't stay down, it was little and often. It has to keep going in until it comes out the other end.According to my frantic internet search, chocolate poisoning symptoms go:
Vomiting, diarrhea, restlessness, tremours, seizures and possibly death. In there somewhere is also a raised heart beat that can cause heart attack. Not joyful reading.
So, working her way dutifully through the list, Chips started on phase 4, the tremours.
Call in Lynn (thank you Lynn) who took us back to the vet for an injection of diazepam (that's valium to you and me). Lucky dog. I hadn't even got through the sentence, "How long does it take to work?" before Chips's eyes glazed over and she wobbled to the floor. We came home with instructions of what to look for and what might constitute an emergency.
Vomiting, diarrhea, restlessness, tremours, seizures and possibly death. In there somewhere is also a raised heart beat that can cause heart attack. Not joyful reading.
So, working her way dutifully through the list, Chips started on phase 4, the tremours.
Call in Lynn (thank you Lynn) who took us back to the vet for an injection of diazepam (that's valium to you and me). Lucky dog. I hadn't even got through the sentence, "How long does it take to work?" before Chips's eyes glazed over and she wobbled to the floor. We came home with instructions of what to look for and what might constitute an emergency.
All praise to the vet, who even offered to come and pick us up and take us to the animal hospital in the night if we couldn't get a lift. That is beyond the call of duty and something you don't hear about these days.
By 10pm, Chips was looking a lot more perky. I don't think we'll be needing the valium tablets. Well, I don't think Chips will be needing them. I will be sleeping downstairs to keep an eye on the patient.
Labels: chips, dogs, eaten, mishaps, poison. chocolate
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Microwave Mystery
For the scientists among you:
How is it possible to heat your hot chocolate in the same mug in the microwave with no problems several times, and then to receive 1st (and small 2nd) degree burns to the index and middle fingers when taking out your lovely, appetising drink? This one will not help me sleep better. The drink itself was not even that hot.
Following mind over matter (brain screams "DROP IT DROP IT" while other part of brain screams, "DON'T DROP IT. HOLD IT AND PUT IT DOWN. If you release the cup you will burn the rest of your body") and quickly (very quickly) slamming cup onto the counter I turned my attention to first aid. Luckily I knew what to do in such an instance. I simply followed the procedure from when my (very young) brother tried to take the jam tarts that had just come out of the oven.
Cheers bro. Every cloud has a silver lining. I have used aggressive cold water treatment. I think the wet cloth in a plastic bag would be excessive in this case.
How is it possible to heat your hot chocolate in the same mug in the microwave with no problems several times, and then to receive 1st (and small 2nd) degree burns to the index and middle fingers when taking out your lovely, appetising drink? This one will not help me sleep better. The drink itself was not even that hot.
Following mind over matter (brain screams "DROP IT DROP IT" while other part of brain screams, "DON'T DROP IT. HOLD IT AND PUT IT DOWN. If you release the cup you will burn the rest of your body") and quickly (very quickly) slamming cup onto the counter I turned my attention to first aid. Luckily I knew what to do in such an instance. I simply followed the procedure from when my (very young) brother tried to take the jam tarts that had just come out of the oven.
Cheers bro. Every cloud has a silver lining. I have used aggressive cold water treatment. I think the wet cloth in a plastic bag would be excessive in this case.
Labels: mishaps
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Indignant
We have had our dog food delivered for 5 years. For 5 years, I have forgotten to bring it in for a couple of days.
Today, I went to get the dog food from out the front.
It had been stolen.
Luckily we have a good friend Ann and I went bucket in hand to tide us over until I could get to the petshop.
I will have to stop having our food delivered from an ethical source and go to the pet shop like everyone else. Is nothing sacred?
Today, I went to get the dog food from out the front.
It had been stolen.
Luckily we have a good friend Ann and I went bucket in hand to tide us over until I could get to the petshop.
I will have to stop having our food delivered from an ethical source and go to the pet shop like everyone else. Is nothing sacred?
Labels: mishaps
Thursday, 22 February 2007
Dr Chips researches again (so soon)
10 day old baked beans with mould on.
No news is good news
By Dr Chips - PhD (Dr of Phood)
No news is good news
By Dr Chips - PhD (Dr of Phood)
Monday, 19 February 2007
I am Banned from Scientific Research
Today I have been banned from scientific research.
If you search the internet, you will see that grapes can be poisonous for dogs. Luckily, the word is "can", not definitely "is".
I did research this area once before and ate a bag of grapes. I also ran the gauntlet with nuts and raisins a couple of times. At the time, Tamsin thought it was funny, because she didn't know that grapes can cause acute kidney failure and death.
So today she was not laughing when she washed a bag of grapes and left them to dry on the side, and then went to work. She was not laughing when she came home and they were gone, and so was half a punnet of cherry tomatoes, which it turns out, can also be poisonous for dogs.
The internet recommeded agressive vetenary intervention, but 7 hours had already passed and I was fine and ate my tea and went for a walk. I didn't even have the decency to vomit. And those were expensive and tastey grapes and Tamsin had been looking forward to them.
I would like to add the results of my experiment to the growing body of research as one of the "a bag of grapes is not poisonous to all dogs" contibutions to add balance to this field.
However, I will not be allowed to research this area again.
If you search the internet, you will see that grapes can be poisonous for dogs. Luckily, the word is "can", not definitely "is".
I did research this area once before and ate a bag of grapes. I also ran the gauntlet with nuts and raisins a couple of times. At the time, Tamsin thought it was funny, because she didn't know that grapes can cause acute kidney failure and death.
So today she was not laughing when she washed a bag of grapes and left them to dry on the side, and then went to work. She was not laughing when she came home and they were gone, and so was half a punnet of cherry tomatoes, which it turns out, can also be poisonous for dogs.
The internet recommeded agressive vetenary intervention, but 7 hours had already passed and I was fine and ate my tea and went for a walk. I didn't even have the decency to vomit. And those were expensive and tastey grapes and Tamsin had been looking forward to them.
I would like to add the results of my experiment to the growing body of research as one of the "a bag of grapes is not poisonous to all dogs" contibutions to add balance to this field.
However, I will not be allowed to research this area again.
Thursday, 1 February 2007
"To Do" List - by Chips
Sit in window when Tamsin goes to work. Check.
Surf kitchen counters. Check.
Visit stairgate to see if it might have become undone. Check.
Nose stairgate to double check the latch is secure. Check
Dance with glee when stairgate opens. Check.
Eat cat's dry food. Check
Lick cat's wet food bowl. Check
Go to bathroom bin, empty and chew up all old empty sachets of catfood. Check.
Strew rubbish over bathroom, landing, stairs and bedroom. Check.
Run all over the lovely double bed. Have little look out of window to make sure no one is heading home. Say hello to Carlsberg. Check.
Find all the treats father Christmas gave us and that Tamsin had stored upstairs so they would last. Check.
Eat 2 packets of Turkey and Cranberry bones, one raw hide boot, 3 lolly shaped chews and a packet of cat treats. Share with Beanz (but not too much). Check.
Come downstairs, go to sleep and look hungry when Tamsin comes home for lunch. Check.
Have lunch. check.
Wag tail innocently when Tamsin goes upstairs.
Look fat for the rest of the day. Check.
Surf kitchen counters. Check.
Visit stairgate to see if it might have become undone. Check.
Nose stairgate to double check the latch is secure. Check
Dance with glee when stairgate opens. Check.
Eat cat's dry food. Check
Lick cat's wet food bowl. Check
Go to bathroom bin, empty and chew up all old empty sachets of catfood. Check.
Strew rubbish over bathroom, landing, stairs and bedroom. Check.
Run all over the lovely double bed. Have little look out of window to make sure no one is heading home. Say hello to Carlsberg. Check.Eat 2 packets of Turkey and Cranberry bones, one raw hide boot, 3 lolly shaped chews and a packet of cat treats. Share with Beanz (but not too much). Check.
Come downstairs, go to sleep and look hungry when Tamsin comes home for lunch. Check.
Have lunch. check.
Wag tail innocently when Tamsin goes upstairs.
Look fat for the rest of the day. Check.
Labels: mishaps
